It came to be in the early days that the Lord bestowed upon his charges the bounty of the Tree of Toys and lo there came to be great turmoil in the garden. For the larger dog took the greatest of the nasty-ass pig ear bits for herself leaving only the lesser for the smaller dog. The Lord looked upon this arrangement and saw that it was right and proper that the larger should to the larger and smaller to the smaller and continued his mighty Labors with the Python and the Oracle. Then came the smaller dog to the Lord and said, “I cannot hold my piece for it is shaped funny and so I cannot chew it.”
The Lord took then, from the larger dog, the greater pig ear and split from it a portion that the smaller dog could hold and returned what remained. The larger dog took her piece far from the sight of the Lord and devoured it entirely. Returning swiftly she took from her brother the piece given him as his. This displeased the Lord and he returned the piece to the smaller dog giving to the larger dog the smaller piece that had been her brother’s in the beginning. Again, the larger dog consumed the piece given her and returned to take the piece from the smaller dog.
Seeing this treachery the Lord stood between the larger and smaller dogs with a flaming sword that turned every way and kept safe the smaller dog and his piece of the nasty-ass pig ear. The larger dog howled and raved and charged the smaller dog each time to be turned aside. After a time, the smaller dog carried his pig ear unto his cave and, seeing that he was, for a time, safe the Lord left to tend to the garden.
Upon his return the smaller dog came out to greet him and also came the larger dog cursing the smaller dog and again seeking to take from him what the Lord had given. At this sight the Lord became enraged and taking hold of the larger dog, cast her into the land of Nod there to dwell amidst the darkness until the Lord grant her forgiveness for her trespasses or the dawn of a new age or time to go outside before bedtime. And she wailed in sorrow at her banishment such that she could be heard through the high walls of the garden of Livingroom wherein dwelled the Lord and the smaller dog.